"Welcome to my dark, twisted fantasy"

Chris and Tom offered to help me train to become a police officer.

(Source: iamnevertheone, via ruinedchildhood)

charlotte-corday:

I had a dream last night that I worked at McDonalds and I was behind the counter when this guy dressed in a tuxedo (with white dickie and tie) was snapping his fingers for a server. I went I over and he asked to see our “darkest red” and I knew he was talking about wine so I said “sir, this is McDonalds. The darkest red we have here is ketchup” and he had me pour him a glass of ketchup and he drank it while looking me directly in the eye.

(via thenameisroxylalonde)

celeritious:

you all deserve someone who isn’t embarrassed to love you and tells all their friends about you and saves your selfies, whether they’re good or bad to look at when they miss you and loses sleep to talk to you and tells you how much they love you all the time and i really hope all of you find that one day because you all deserved to be loved

(via riseabovedefeat)

straight-from-the-earth:

I was not expecting that last photo

(Source: thefrogman, via rymaxin)

awildmeridaappears:

I don’t know what I was expecting but it wasn’t that.

(Source: keelayjams, via quasi-queer)

tonyballer:

it’s sad when you realize you aren’t as important to someone as you thought you were.

(via vmyt)